Home » Ask the Therapist » I get angry a lot for no reason

I get angry a lot for no reason

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I get angry a lot for no reason. I even wake up angry sometimes. When I am angry I tend to lash out at my husband. No one else. I love him and I don’t know why I get mad. I’ll get mad if he doesn’t say ‘hi’ to me. Then I’ll be mad for the whole day. There’s this anger in me. It builds up and I can’t control it. Then, at other times, I’ll be very happy. I don’t understand. Sometimes I won’t want to do anything all day but lay in bed. I won’t want to take care of my daughter. (I will take care of her, I just will not want to.) I don’t want to be near her sometimes because I don’t trust myself and I am afraid I will yell at her for no reason. I feel like a useless person. I do work – I have a job, and I enjoy it usually. I do not know why I hate being home, even though I love my husband and daughter so much. It just feels like I sometimes just want to be alone. Completely alone with no one around me. I lash out and curse alot and I do not know why. sometimes I will look for things to make me angry but i don’t know why. i don’t understand what is wrong with me. it doesn’t happen everyday, but at least 2 times a week. Please help me.

I get angry a lot for no reason

Answered by on -


What you are describing sounds like symptoms of depression. Many people think that being depressed means only being sad or down. That’s true for many people. But in some people, maybe in you, depression shows up as irritability and crankiness that flares into angry outbursts that are out of proportion to events. They may blame others or get easily frustrated. You also report long periods of staying in bed and a marked decrease in enjoyment of your daughter. These are also common symptoms of depression.

According to Healthline’s website, “See your doctor if you think you’re experiencing depression or if you have persistent feelings of anger. They can help determine if you’re experiencing something that will go away on its own or whether you need additional treatment. Anger may also be a sign of other physical or mental health disorders. Seeing your doctor is the only way to find out. When you go in to see your doctor, make sure you bring a list of all of your concerns so you don’t forget anything. Your doctor will then discuss any changes in your lifestyle. They’ll ask questions about your relationships, work, family, and anything else that may be affecting your mood. Your doctor will want to know if your emotions seem to happen only once in a while or if you’re angry every single day. Be open with your doctor and answer their questions truthfully. They are there to help and will need to know everything that could be causing your anger.”

For this reason, I urge you to see a mental health professional for an evaluation. If the diagnosis is depression, you will get recommendations about what to do about it. For most people a combination of some medicine and talk therapy is the treatment of choice. The medicine will help you feel a little better and will help you have the motivation to do your daily life and your therapeutic work. The talk therapy will help you develop more coping skills so that you can recognize when you are getting depressed and take some steps to mitigate it.

Thank you for writing. It must feel awful to feel so out of control. Do follow through and get that evaluation. You deserve to feel better. Your family deserves to have the loving wife and mother they know you to be.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I get angry a lot for no reason

This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on October 18, 2010.

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2019). I get angry a lot for no reason. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 25, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 1 Jun 2019 (Originally: 18 Oct 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 1 Jun 2019
Published on Psych All rights reserved.