What you are describing sounds like symptoms of depression. Many people think that being depressed means only being sad or down. That’s true for many people. But in some people, maybe in you, depression shows up as irritability and crankiness that flares into angry outbursts that are out of proportion to events. They may blame others or get easily frustrated. You also report long periods of staying in bed and a marked decrease in enjoyment of your daughter. These are also common symptoms of depression.
According to Healthline’s website, “See your doctor if you think you’re experiencing depression or if you have persistent feelings of anger. They can help determine if you’re experiencing something that will go away on its own or whether you need additional treatment. Anger may also be a sign of other physical or mental health disorders. Seeing your doctor is the only way to find out. When you go in to see your doctor, make sure you bring a list of all of your concerns so you don’t forget anything. Your doctor will then discuss any changes in your lifestyle. They’ll ask questions about your relationships, work, family, and anything else that may be affecting your mood. Your doctor will want to know if your emotions seem to happen only once in a while or if you’re angry every single day. Be open with your doctor and answer their questions truthfully. They are there to help and will need to know everything that could be causing your anger.”
For this reason, I urge you to see a mental health professional for an evaluation. If the diagnosis is depression, you will get recommendations about what to do about it. For most people a combination of some medicine and talk therapy is the treatment of choice. The medicine will help you feel a little better and will help you have the motivation to do your daily life and your therapeutic work. The talk therapy will help you develop more coping skills so that you can recognize when you are getting depressed and take some steps to mitigate it.
Thank you for writing. It must feel awful to feel so out of control. Do follow through and get that evaluation. You deserve to feel better. Your family deserves to have the loving wife and mother they know you to be.
I wish you well.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on October 18, 2010.