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I’m Worried about My 4-Year-Old

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From a dad in Israel: Hi. We have noticed that our 4 year old daughter cries for every little thing, and seems to have trouble expressing here self verbally at home and kindergarten. For example: the other day at kindergarten she stood holding here cup in the kitchen, until the teacher noticed that she was just waiting there, instead of saying she wants a drink or she walked up to the teacher and showed here left over sandwich and wouldn’t tell the teacher she finished or wants to throw it away, the teacher had to ask here a few guessing questions to which she would nod to until she guessed the right one.

She also really wants to make friends but it seems like she is having trouble socially- at kindergarten and at home too with her sisters (that are 1 younger and 2 older then her, oldest is 8 years old). And she cries and throws a Temper Tantrum for anything at home that bothers here.

We are worried about here and want to help here learn how to talk when she needs something, and make friend.
thank you for your advice.

I’m Worried about My 4-Year-Old

Answered by on -


Thank you so much for writing. You are right to be concerned. I am too. Your little girl is showing you that she needs help. Please don’t be hard on yourself for not noticing before now. It is not unusual for problems to show up when kids start school. Until then, parents often get used to their children’s personality and quirks.

Please start with your pediatrician. Share your letter as a way to summarize the problem. It could be, for example, that your daughter has an undiagnosed hearing problem. If the pediatrician sees nothing medically wrong, she/he can make a referral to a child therapist to do an evaluation. I can’t venture a guess about a diagnosis on the basis of your letter but I do want to assure you that an evaluation will help you understand what is going on and how best to help your child.

Please don’t wait to get those appointments. Early intervention for most problems makes a huge difference.

I wish you all well.
Dr. Marie

I’m Worried about My 4-Year-Old

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I’m Worried about My 4-Year-Old. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 1, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 17 Oct 2018 (Originally: 16 Oct 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 17 Oct 2018
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