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I Endured Two Heartbreaks at the Same Time

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My heart stopped feeling and my life has not been the same since then. I am an 18-year-old girl. Earlier this year I broke up with my boyfriend that I was with since I was 14. This break up came as a great shock and I went through a lot of pain. Two months later my godson of only 10 months dies. His death hit me hard because he is the first close family member I’ve lost to death. He was my pillar of strength and the reason that I kept going even though I was broken into pieces so when he left everything changed. My heart shut down and I became spiritually confused. I haven’t cried in 5 months now and I don’t remember the last time I felt something genuinely. I hate who I’ve become even though in a way it saved me from any pain. How do I become okay again? And if I do will the feelings for my ex still be there because I never really got over him? And what happens if I’m stuck like this forever? (From Namibia, South Africa)

I Endured Two Heartbreaks at the Same Time

Answered by on -


I am sorry you are having to feel the depth of these profound losses. The best course of action is to find a group nearby that offers grief counseling. Grieving groups will offer support and a process for grieving, which you will be able to use for both the loss of your godson and your boyfriend. This type of grieving is layered and complex. A grieving group will give you a place to begin to sort it through and get you to to a place you can start to feel okay again.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Endured Two Heartbreaks at the Same Time

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Endured Two Heartbreaks at the Same Time. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 1, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 5 Oct 2018 (Originally: 6 Oct 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 5 Oct 2018
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