I do believe that you have more than the “occasional blues.” Everyone has mood swings but generally it’s not considered a problem until they are compromising your life. From your letter it seems that you have been living a very compromised life. You are suffering daily, to the point where it is affecting your marriage and your overall wellbeing. It is also likely affecting your children. This is the very definition of when one should seek help.
It is important to learn the cause of your anger and unhappiness. If I could interview you in person I would want to know if something has changed lately. Did some event occur? What prompted you to notice the increase in your unhappiness? Knowing this information could help to uncover the reason for your unhappiness.
In my experience as a therapist, I’ve seen anger issues like yours among my clients. It is not unusual for individuals exhibiting similar symptoms to act out in a manner that you have described with your husband. They push and push until they get a reaction from their significant other, friend or family member. It was at that point (i.e. invoking a reaction) that they also too described their anger diminishing. In most cases, it was because they wanted their spouse, friend or loved one to recognize their suffering. It was their way of forcing an emotional confrontation. They had been stoically suffering. They did not want to complain and often felt they didn’t have the right to complain.
I would strongly suggest that you consider counseling. It could greatly benefit you. If not for yourself then do it for the sake of your marriage and your children. Studies show that children whose parents are suffering from mental health disorders may be more likely themselves to develop mental health disorders. Children who have a parent with depression are especially at risk. Depressed mothers in particular tend to be more isolative, withdrawn and less able to respond to the child’s emotional needs, compared to mothers without depression. For these reasons and many others it is very important that you seek help. Please click on the find help tab at the top of this page to search for a clinician in your community.
I wish you well. Please take care.
This article has been updated from the original version, which was originally published here on September 11, 2010.