Hi. I’m married for an year and had a love marriage. We were in relation for 9 years. And I had to wait 4 years for the approval from my husband’s family for our marriage because we are in different religion and I had to convert to their religion for this marriage . My husband is working abroad and I am staying with in laws. In the first time my in laws were very nice to me. But they hesitated to spend money for my needs—where they give to my sister in law. And my in laws where jobless and my husband was giving them money for daily needs he spent around 60000 -80000 rupees and I had a job with very low salary. And my husband didn’t give money for my needs because I had job. Now I am pregnant I used to spend my own money for my needs even hospital needs. Never my in laws gave me anything. When I told this to my husband he asked thme about this had some issues. From that we decided that we will start a new life and save some money. I was thinking it was going perfect till now. Yesterday I just asked him that whether he is giving money to his parents or not. Then replied yes . And he give 50000 rupees every months to his parents for their expenses. Where I was struggling to find money. Please tell me how can I can get him to help me? (From India)
Your husband is not prioritizing your needs and expects you to manage without this provision. I suggest you choose several tasks that you normally do and stop doing them. Your husband is not likely to respond to your requests if he hasn’t already. But, when you are not doing what he expects because he is not doing what you expect, it will get his attention.
This is likely to cause some friction between you and your family and your husband. I’d encourage you to explain that you will not be able to keep your part of the bargain if he isn’t able to keep his. But do not make it an idle threat. If he doesn’t give you the money, you need stop holding up your end of the expectations, but be prepared for a conflict.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Husband Spend Too Much Money on His Parents. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 21, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/09/08/husband-spend-too-much-money-on-his-parents/
Last updated: 7 Sep 2018 (Originally: 8 Sep 2018) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 7 Sep 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.