From the U.S.: I have SEVERE OCD. I was diagnosed with it in 2009. I have been in Therapy since then. My Mother passed away this past December from Uterine Cancer. I stopped going to Therapy because I was helping take care of her.
My current Doctor is cutting back on his practice so I’m now in between Doctors. Now, since 2009, I’ve taken Prozac. I take The Prozac at night because when I’m at work, I don’t want to get a stomach ache,and I work during the day.
Last Thursday, while at work, I had to use the bathroom. I put my smock over the bathroom stall. As I was going to get it, I saw someone’s crotch as that person was urinating.I don’t know if this person was 8,9 or 13 yrs. old. I know the person was underage. I don’t know how long and how many times I looked at the person’s crotch. It could’ve been 1 min., 2 mins. or 10 mins. I’m not sure.The underage person whose crotch I saw I think was Mentally Handicapped but he was still standing at the urinal.
The truth is that I couldn’t afford to go to counseling. After My Mother died, I had to get a job and pay the bills and other expenses to think about. I didn’t stop going to counseling because I felt like not going. It’s just I had other things on my mind plus, I couldn’t afford it financially.
Now, I know you don’t know me but I have to ask. Did I do anything wrong? Am I a bad person? I would really like to know. Please email and not call.Am I a Bad Person?
Am I a Bad Person?
Yes, you did do something wrong. Staring at an underage or handicapped person’s crotch is against the law and rightfully so. But — and this is an important but — you weren’t knowingly doing it for your own titillation. You have OCD.
I’m not a lawyer, so I can’t respond to how the diagnosis factors in legally. But as a psychologist, I can say that I don’t see you as a bad person. I see you as a person with a long-term mental illness that isn’t currently being treated. It isn’t helpful to judge yourself harshly for what you did. It is more useful to understand the incident as a signal to yourself that you still need treatment.
Sadly, you’ve had a hard lesson in the consequences of not working with a therapist. Get back into treatment with a prescriber and a therapist. There are alternatives if you don’t have the ability to pay. See this article for a list of options.
I wish you well.