Home » Ask the Therapist » My Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Me Feel Special

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Me Feel Special

Asked by on with 1 answer:

From a teen in the U.S.: My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 9 months and we’ve only been on 1 date (the day we started dating). I just feel like he’s not putting his full effort into our relationship. In the beginning, he admitted to pleasing another female. He’s not really sincere with gifts and important dates. He’s lied to me and He’s let me down multiple times.

I read a post that told me that i need to love myself first and do other things like hobbies, maintain friends, etc. If he doesn’t make me feel special. I do center most of my time thinking about him. Do you think this is something that can be mended? Cross your fingers our sit down discussion goes well.

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Me Feel Special

Answered by on -


No. I don’t think this can be “mended”. I don’t even think there is something worth mending. This guy is not boyfriend material.

Please take an honest look at why it is that you are willing to stay in a relationship with a liar who lets you down often and doesn’t join with you in making good times together. You deserve far better. But as long as you stay attached to this guy, you aren’t available to find someone who can be a real friend and partner. It’s simply not true that “half a loaf is better than none.” Accepting so little just keeps you out of circulation.

I encourage you to take a big step back. Join activities where you can meet other people your age who share your interests. Doing things together will help you make friends — and perhaps find a special someone who will cherish you and treat you well.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

My Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Me Feel Special

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). My Boyfriend Doesn’t Make Me Feel Special. Psych Central. Retrieved on November 26, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 15 Aug 2018 (Originally: 20 Aug 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 15 Aug 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.