My wife and I have been divorced for 2 years. My 11 year old son loves baseball and is very good. My ex does everything she can to not let him play. When he is with her he misses practices and has missed games. He of course is not happy with this but is very respectful and does not question as to why. She even went so far as to not let him complete his last season and didn’t let him play in the final tournament, stating simply they had other plans. (Which of course they did not).
My question is what are the psychological effects of denying children the ability to do something they love? I don’t think it matters if it’s sports, art or music.
I’m curious as to what you think?
Thank you for your assistance, any info you can provide would be helpful.
I think the problem isn’t baseball. The problem is that your wife and maybe you are still fighting but you are doing so through your son. If you were focused on your child instead of on who does what or differences in opinion about what is best for him, the two of you would be able to negotiate getting him to games and practices, regardless of who he is staying with at the time.
It won’t damage a child for life to not be allowed to play a particular sport. It can damage his relationships with both parents, his sense of himself, and his ability to trust and love if he is in the middle of his parents’ inability to co-parent in a way that is in his best interests, not their own.
I strongly urge you and your wife to involve a mediator or family therapist to help you figure out how to co-parent and get your son out of the middle. He deserves better. Both you and your wife will be better prepared for managing the many changes that go with parenting a teen.
I wish you well. Dr. Marie
Ex-Wife Will Not Allow Son to Play Baseball
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). Ex-Wife Will Not Allow Son to Play Baseball. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 14, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/08/17/ex-wife-will-not-allow-son-to-play-baseball/
Last updated: 15 Aug 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 15 Aug 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.