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My Mother Is Depressed But There Is No Way to Help Her

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In the recent months, my mother and my father had a fight. Which ended in my father wanting to leave, but he didn’t because my mom begged him to stay. She told us that, and we (her children ) supposedly don’t know they fought. But as the months have gone by she has completely crumbled. She has many breakdowns on weekends when my father goes out. When she has these breakdowns, she talks in a really suicidal way. She tells us how she wants to die, how she feels guilty, how she wants things to go back, how she really just wants to disappear. She acts this way because since they fought, my father completely neglected my mom. He told her that she can’t love her anymore and that he can’t forgive her. So coming back to her breakdowns, it is really worrying to see her in that state, in which she cries for hours and hours until she calms down. As her children, who are young we can’t really do anything for her other than give her a shoulder. But it has gotten to a point where she cries whenever she is alone. We don’t know what to do anymore, because she has stopped eating or resting. My father’s harsh words towards her really don’t help her, because she still hopes he might love her one day. So we just are desperate, because we feel that hugging her is not enough to help her be happy again. So, I ask for advice because my mother’s condition really just gets worse as days go by. What can I do for her to help her move on and find happiness because it really has affected me a lot. I love her and want her to be healthy and happy, not to feel like every day is more pain. Thank You. A lot. (From Mexico)

My Mother Is Depressed But There Is No Way to Help Her

Answered by on -

A.

Your mother needs some therapy. As her 15-year-old daughter, there is very little you can do to help other than offer her your compassion. If you would like to help her talk to a trusted teacher and ask them to help you find resources. You need help in gathering these resources, and your teacher can be a good place to start.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Mother Is Depressed But There Is No Way to Help Her

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Mother Is Depressed But There Is No Way to Help Her. Psych Central. Retrieved on July 15, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/08/16/my-mother-is-depressed-but-there-is-no-way-to-help-her/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 14 Aug 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 14 Aug 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.