My boyfriend has lied to me about his going out with another girl. they went to the movies together but what he told me was he was alone shopping for electronics. several people saw them together but he didn’t tell me about the girl or that they went out. i only figured out when a mutual friend confessed to me about it and when i confronted my boyfriend he confirmed it but said that there was nothing between them. a couple of weeks away from him, i decided to give him another chance but a month later, he told me that he invited the girl to his church and told me he wanted to be honest and that there are no feelings involved. i am confused on why he is still communicating with the girl knowing what i might feel. i am really confused if i should just let this go because i know i don’t deserve to feel this way or if i should give him another chance. (From the Philippines)
Your boyfriend has proven two things to you. That he is willing to lie about something because he knows it is wrong, and that he is willing to keep doing something even though he knows it will bother you. These are two of the more difficult things to change in a relationship. He hasn’t understood (or cared) that this is a problem for you. This isn’t worth you putting up with. If he doesn’t understand that this is hurtful then let him know that you think more of yourself than letting him be careless with your feelings by disregarding them. Inform him you’d rather not hang around waiting to get hurt again — and mean it. Be sure this isn’t a ploy to get him back. Once you say you are going, it is time to go.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Should I Give My Lying Boyfriend Another Chance?. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 13, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/08/11/should-i-give-my-lying-boyfriend-another-chance/
Last updated: 9 Aug 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 9 Aug 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.