From France: My boyfriend criticizes me all the time, especially in the last few months since he is going to his psychotherapist. He want me to wait for him with the food ready, even if I was arrived in the house with ten minutes before him… he told me “You could do something to eat?!! On 6 pm I’m going to somewhere” (to the session, of course. Even in the days when he is calling his psychotherapist, in that day he is absolutely arguing with me for stupid reasons.
Now, we had to go on a wedding. I have bought a beautiful dress and he is acting like he want to cut me down. He told me I have made a bad decision with the dress, because it’s too elegant and now he cannot take the jeans to the wedding.
Sometimes in the beginning of therapy people regress rather than advance. The good news is your boyfriend is courageous and going to therapy, on the other hand he is confused about the proper way to treat his girlfriend. This is something you want to be very clear about with him. That you are NOT there in the relationship to serve his needs alone. That the two of you are there to help each other.
If you get home ten minutes before him and he is hungry, he needs to know it is now his responsibility to get his own food or help you prepare the meal. Don’t let his selfish expectations of you go unchecked. Him going to therapy is a good thing, but it doesn’t give him a license to treat you poorly. Speak up about what he is doing that seems unfair, inconsiderate, or selfish.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Boyfriend Criticizes Me All the Time. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/08/09/my-boyfriend-criticizes-me-all-the-time/
Last updated: 9 Aug 2018 (Originally: 9 Aug 2018) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 9 Aug 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.