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How to Overcome Friend Issues?

2017 was a hard year for me one of my best friend that I got to know in early of 2016. I’ll call her D made me and my other friend B. hate each other. she acted like she hate her with me. and when she’s with other friend she acted like she hate me. and it got worse B suffered from Alzheimer and recovered any how we two made up with each other. and we sided against the friend who lied and betray us.but when others ask what happens you were best friends with D. but I couldn’t remember anything at all like we were bed or we had good bond.I was like no we are not I’m not closed to her.she was just a friend.and there was this one guy friend Y I used to hang out and helped me a lot in this problems my BFF suddenly starts changing and ignoring me.which I don’t know why.then I started kind of getting flashes how I used to be with D.and Y changing was hard for me.and i couldnt go out or class.i stayed at home but when other insist to me to come. i thought okay fine.and when we meet outside for tution after a long time. he would make fun of me about my clothes in front of other guys or tell them how much a temptress i am.well i’m not.I never had boyfriend and we both never were loved each other. he had girlfriend while I was he’s friend too.I can’t understand what i did wrong for him to make fun of me in front of other people.my other friends say I’m over reacting and it’s a joke.and after that I avoids him and I stopped going to tution too.and I would flinch for everything.I was not a scared kid .I’m not even scared when watching horror movies. but even when my mom touch me I flinch. and I have no motive or energy to study all I do is sleep.and I hate going outside I hate seeing people.and whenever I start study I get negative feelings and I give up. what is wrong with me?

How to Overcome Friend Issues?

A.

It is not clear that there’s something “wrong” with you. Your experiences with your “friends” remind me of the film Mean Girls. It’s about a group of teenage girls who are unkind to one another because they’re competing for power. Perhaps a similar power dynamic exists among you and your friends. It’s not uncommon, especially among teenage girls, to compete for power. They may see you as a threat to their power and thus they say and do mean things in order to maintain their position.

There are several ways to handle this situation. One solution is to get new friends. You don’t want to befriend people who treat you poorly. You shouldn’t tolerate abuse. Stand up for yourself and make it clear that you will not tolerate abusive treatment.

If you do continue to interact with them, keep your distance. Don’t reveal personal information to these individuals because they may use it against you in the future.

In all likelihood, you will face other difficult people in your life. Most people will be easy to get along with but some people are not. One important lesson to learn from this experience is not to take their treatment of you personally. They may be acting a particular way towards you because of personal struggles they have in their own lives. It likely has nothing to do with you. Befriend kind, caring people and stay away from mean, unkind people, whenever possible.

If counseling is available, try it. The more support you have, the better you will feel. Please take care.

Dr. Kristina Randle

How to Overcome Friend Issues?

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW

Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.

APA Reference
Randle, K. (2018). How to Overcome Friend Issues?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 16, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/08/05/how-to-overcome-friend-issues/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 3 Aug 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 3 Aug 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.