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My Boyfriend Says He Can’t Stop Thinking about My Past

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My boyfriend and best friend have been together for a year and I a little over that. He’s the best thing that could ever happen to me and we’re in love with each other but people that I’ve been with in the past keep coming to him and telling him stuff about me and he said he can’t take learning something new about me almost everyday. So I told him all he wants to know about my past and now he sees me differently I don’t want him to because I’m not a different person I’m the same one. He also has a past and told me about his but he can’t get over mine. He says he’s trying to but it just stays in the back of his mind how do I help him get over it I want him in my life forever and I don’t want to put him through this anymore.

My Boyfriend Says He Can’t Stop Thinking about My Past

Answered by on -


I am very glad that you have found someone who makes you happy. You boyfriend’s reaction isn’t something that you can help with any more than what you are doing. Let him know that the choices you’ve made in the past all led up to the two of you being together. That had you not gone down those roads you wouldn’t have been able to appreciate the connection you have now.

Let him know that you understand if he needs time to understand this, but in the end there is nothing either of you can do to change the past — all you can do is look at it though a different lens.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

My Boyfriend Says He Can’t Stop Thinking about My Past

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Boyfriend Says He Can’t Stop Thinking about My Past. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 22, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 2 Aug 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 2 Aug 2018
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