I wish that you would have shared why she was fired. It would have helped me to have a more complete understanding of what might be wrong.
You are right to be concerned. Especially odd, is her watching your neighbor and believing that she has any control over him. She may be exhibiting magical thinking, grandiosity and paranoia, symptoms commonly associated with psychosis.
Out of context and without intimate knowledge of your girlfriend’s personality, personal life, etc., diagnosis is impossible. Please keep that in mind.
Try to think back over the past couple months. Is there anything that could have triggered this event? She was fired but what about before that? Did she experience a trauma? A move? Health problems? A death in the family? Did she give birth? Has she been using drugs? Those types of experiences can sometimes trigger psychotic episodes.
Her distrust of doctors is concerning. It may mean that she is unwilling to undergo an evaluation, still that is precisely what is needed. Paranoia may also be why she’s refusing to eat the food you cook.
If psychosis is present, time is of the essence. Psychotic episodes are treatable but not if a person is unwilling to participate in treatment.
Tied into these issues seems to be your fear of her breaking up with you. Don’t worry about that now. This is not personal. She’s not doing these things to you. It’s important that you separate the person from the illness (assuming an illness is present). Her behavior is likely beyond her control and requires professional intervention. Love can’t cure mental illness; only treatment can, and that treatment must involve mental health professionals.
If you fear for her safety or yours, don’t hesitate to call emergency services. When people are in the throes of a psychotic episode, they often don’t realize that they are ill. They sometimes inadvertently put themselves or others at risk of being hurt.
You asked whether you should contact a doctor “behind her back?” I would not characterize your contacting a doctor as being “behind her back.” If she is ill and refusing help, then you have no other choice. It is the responsible course of action. Contact the professionals as soon as possible. They will know what to do. Please write again if you have additional questions. Good luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle