A: You seem to be functioning very well. You are married, have a job and can interact with family and coworkers. None the less, you wrote to us because you understand that your need for routine and your tendency to isolate from others may be excessive. I therefore do think it would be helpful for you to see a psychologist or social worker who specializes in adults on the spectrum. Many people who are diagnosed late in life as being on the autism spectrum experience great relief, for the same reasons you mentioned. It often explains much. A good evaluation can also lead to good suggestions for next steps for becoming more in charge of your feelings and more able to handle things you currently find difficult to manage.
ASD cannot be medicated away. But medication might be helpful for lessening your anxiety. Psychotherapy can help you learn more ways to manage in a world that is sometimes confusing or anxiety provoking for you. For example, the anger you describe may be at least partly because it is hard for you to deal with frustration or change. Therapy may give you more tools for coping with situations where things are unpredictable or when things don’t go as you expected.
You didn’t mention who is prescribing your medications. If the doctor is your PCP, I do think you should see a psychiatrist who has experience with ASD. Your medication probably needs to be re-evaluated in light of the ASD diagnosis.
I also encourage you to look for books on adults with Asperger’s or Autism, especially books that talk about managing a later in life diagnosis. I regularly recommend the books written by John Elder Robison to my patients. I think you would find such books encouraging and helpful.
I wish you well.