From my point of view, you are making reasonable requests of someone you love.
Relationships are always about making compromises and, yes, sometimes changing how we do things. Your boyfriend seems so worried about losing control that he is being controlling. From what you said, I can’t tell if he is doing it on purpose. He may not be aware that by insisting you just accept him how he is in all things, he isn’t helping build the give and take that is required if you are to be long term. He doesn’t seem to be aware that by insisting on doing things his way, he is asking you to be the one to change who you are.
It’s worth talking to him some more. If he isn’t willing to make any compromises on such small things as making eye contact or checking in with you about feelings, I do have to wonder how he will act when some bigger problem comes along.
I suggest you slow down with this relationship until you figure out if this guy is capable of giving as well as receiving.
I wish you well.