From Romania: man that i met onlime asked me several times to go out with him. He was pretty consistent,so at a point i accepted his invitation.
The first date was great in my opinion. I observed he was very introverted when younger, but time and experience made him more open. I should also mention that he is 8 years older than me.
The man asked me on a second date, was very excited when i said yes. I waited for him almost an hour, but he missed our date thogh,and apologised later becouse he fell asleep.
I believe his behaviour is contradictional.We talked very little since then. I was willing to give him another chance, but it seems he doesn’t want to maintain the conversation. I stil feel disrespected and rejected.I am looking forward to understand and accept this situation. Thank you!
The purpose of dating is to find someone who “fits” with each other’s needs and wants. To do it successfully means to be willing to reject people and to be willing to be rejected. Why? Because if you aren’t willing to reject someone you know isn’t right, you can end up staying in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere. To be scared of “rejection” means that you are vulnerable to giving up too much of yourself in order to hang on to someone. Neither is the foundation for a healthy relationship.
You are by no means alone in your anxiety about rejection. It’s difficult for many, many people. But maybe if you think about it as “sorting” rather than “rejection”, it will help you tolerate both sides of it (rejecting and being rejected) a bit better.
I don’t think of your situation as one of “rejection”. I do think the guy didn’t feel the connection with you that he wanted. Unfortunately, he didn’t know how to tell you gently.
I do think it is important for anyone who is dating to be honest with themselves and the dates. Be kind. Let each other down gently when it is clear it isn’t going to work out. Then move on and find the person who is really right for you.
I wish you well. Dr. Marie
How Do I Handle Rejection?
Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker
Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.
APA Reference Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). How Do I Handle Rejection?. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/07/05/how-do-i-handle-rejection/
Last updated: 3 Jul 2018 (Originally: 5 Jul 2018) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 3 Jul 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.