Thank you for writing. I can’t tell you reasons but I can give you some direction for helping yourself.
We are all one organism. The way we treat ourselves physically has a great deal to do with how we feel emotionally. People who are not healthy physically often feel vulnerable emotionally. The same is true for motivation. It’s hard to feel up to doing things when your body just wants to rest and heal.
Before deciding all this is a mental health issue, it’s important to see your medical doctor. You started by telling us that you don’t eat healthy. That tells me you aren’t taking good care of yourself generally. I suspect your sleep patterns aren’t the best either. Then there’s the possibility of a hormonal imbalance that can be managed.
If you doctor tells you that all is well medically — and if you start treating your physical self better — and you are still so easily upset, then it’s time to make an appointment with a mental health counselor. The counselor can do what we here at PsychCentral can’t. She or he can delve with you into what makes trusting others and expressing emotions so hard for you. Then the two of you will make a plan for how to deal with it.
Your letter may be the fist step in taking yourself more seriously. I hope you will continue to do so by making those appointments. I wish you well.