You may never know if you were sexually abused. It’s possible but unless the abuser admits it, you’ll may never have confirmation. Memories are not always reliable. Studies have shown this to be true. A good book about problematic elements of memory, is The Memory Illusion by Julie Shaw. She discusses the neuroscience of memories and why they are sometimes problematic.
Abuse or no abuse, the treatment is the same. The best place to receive assistance with intimacy and sexuality is in sex therapy. Ask for a referral for a sex therapist from your PCP. You might also try searching for a sex therapist by clicking the “find help” at the top of this page. Call four to five prospects and discuss your issues over the phone. Ask how they would help you. Choose the one with whom you feel the most comfortable and meet them in person. That will likely be the best match for you.
Some people find the idea of sex therapy awkward or embarrassing. There’s nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to intimacy problems. Ultimately, sex is not an act of intimacy. It is an act of sexuality; as in “birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it.” Sex therapists are experts and can help remedy this issue. Good luck with your efforts.