It may be that she doesn’t remember the abuse. It’s also possible that she does but isn’t psychologically ready to handle it. She may not want to talk about it. It might be too traumatic. Abuse often causes psychological trauma.
It’s not uncommon for abuse survivors to forgive their abusers. Some survivors report feeling guilty for their being upset at their abuser. Many still love their abusers despite the pain that they have endured. The emotional impact of sexual abuse can be complex and confusing.
Don’t feel that it is your responsibility to address the issue. It is not. If she doesn’t want to talk about it, that is okay. Be supportive. Encourage her to seek counseling. She may or may not come to terms with what happened. In fact, she may not even know what fully happened. Unfortunately, that is the nature of abuse. Perpetrators do not often willingly confess their abuse. The people who sustained the abuse may be too traumatized to remember it or don’t want to discuss it and thus the true nature of the abuse often remains a deeply-held secret.
Don’t push your sister to do anything that she is not ready to do. If she wants to talk to you about it, then she will but ideally, encourage her to consult an expert. Another option is family therapy. Family therapy can rebuild intimate family relationships that have been damaged by abuse. Good luck and please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle