I feel hollow, empty. I’m not depressed, but I don’t experience many emotions with 2 exceptions. One being I get wildly angry after being provoked multiple times. The other exception has happened only twice in my life. I have met a girl (my age, obviously) that, for no apparent reason, I feel strongly attracted to, both times I have known little to nothing about them, it seems to be random. I can just & read them and looking at pictures of them make me feel happy. I put on different &masks throughout the day to interact with people and they don’t seem to ever notice I’m deceiving them. I also experienced heavy physical bullying as a child in school and several instances of sexual assault, also as a child, from a parent of one of the kids I went to elementary school with. I don’t react to anything. If I win something, I feel nothing, same thing with losing, watching movies, jump scares, death, surprises, birthdays, or anything else a normal person would react to. Can you help me understand what is going in in my brain? ThanksNo Emotional Reaction to Any Stimuli, with 2 Strange Exceptions. Do I Have ASPD? PTSD?
No Emotional Reaction to Any Stimuli, with 2 Strange Exceptions. Do I Have ASPD? PTSD?
I’m not certain that anything is necessarily “wrong.” You might try keeping a journal to document your moods. It is your opinion that you don’t have emotional reactions, but you could be wrong. Try documenting your moods to determine if you are accurate.
If you are concerned about this issue, it would be wise to consult a therapist. If you did keep a mood journal, that would be a great asset for your therapist. It would give them insight into your emotional state of mind.
You mentioned being a victim of bullying and sexual abuse. The emotional aftermath of these experiences could be interfering with your emotions. We all feel anger from time to time but it should not be your primary emotion. “Wild anger” suggests an out-of-control temper. This may be a result of the abuse you sustained but it is correctable.
My recommendation is to try counseling. It’s the best place to deal with emotional problems. Counselors are experts in relationships and emotional experiences. Why not utilize the expertise of a professional who is trained to address the very problems with which you are struggling? Give it a try. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle