I admire your thoughtful reflection on the relationship with your mother and how it may be affecting you. Yes, I think those early attachment experiences with your mom have affected your relationships and there is there is help available for untangling this.
Your mother was a lifeline — an oasis of emotional and psychological respite. It sounds like you stayed very connected to her as a way of both feeling her love and of dealing with your father’s brutality. Without her attention your young life was bleak.
The Find Help tab at the top of the page can help you find a therapist in your area that can help. I’d connect with them as soon as you can so your long overdue healing can happen.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral