From a teen in Indonesia: I have running thoughts that I cannot control. It’s been on and off for a year perhaps. And I start get this weird feeling like what’s happening to me is not real, like I’m detaching from reality. I even have bizarre dream where I was being chased by zombies and being locked up and couldn’t get away from a situation. I’ve been lacking concentration, forgetting things, and being overly sensitive. I have this weird feeling almost everyday now and it starts to interfere with my daily life: I start to see things weirdly, being overly paranoid about things. Especially after I’m waking up, the feeling is totally intense it totally scares me badly.
The thing is, I have family members who have paranoia schizophrenia. They’re my uncle and aunt from my mother’s lineage. I’m afraid that I’ll become like them too because I know some mental illnesses are genetics. I have a history with mental disorders: been diagnosed with bulimia nervosa on 2014, depression on 2015 and 2017.
Please help me on this one because I currently have no access to some professionals due to my recent conditions, because I really don’t want to become like them. I don’t wanna be an additional burden to my family and I’d rather kill myself before I develop it.Why Do I Have Bizarre Feelings Every Day?
Although your relatives have mental illness, it does not necessarily mean that you will have it too. Sometimes, people start worrying so much about the possibility of a genetic link they start over-thinking and making themselves sick. I don’t know if that is the case with you but it is a possibility.
I think you really do need to see a professional mental health counselor. A counselor can help you sort out if you are indeed showing signs of mental illness or if you are having the normal concerns of adolescence. A counselor can also give you guidance and support. I think you deserve the peace of mind that seeing a counselor regularly for awhile can provide.
I wish you well.