advertisement
Home » Ask the Therapist » Parenting » How Do I Begin to Get Over My Child’s Father While He’s Still in the Picture?

How Do I Begin to Get Over My Child’s Father While He’s Still in the Picture?

Asked by on with 1 answer:

I’m 25 weeks pregnant with my first child, his second, and I don’t know if I’m doing the right thing. Before I got pregnant we were into alcohol and weed and clubs and we lived the fast paced city lifestyle. After I got pregnant, I decided to change my life for the better, cut off bad influences, and become a sober parent for my son especially since I know the pain of growing up with drug-abusing parents. My child’s father hasn’t changed any, and he says he doesn’t want to.. not even for our son. He says because of things that happened in the past, he loves me but he doesn’t trust me and he believes after I have my son I’ll go back to my old ways and that my changes are an act. He texts other women in my house, he barely talks to me, and he makes me feel unappreciated in every way. Because I didn’t have a father in my life growing up.. I’ve been trying to keep him around for my baby but, I’m starting to have second thoughts on whether this is more beneficial than it is harmful.. I don’t know what to do. WHATEVER I do needs to be the best possible option for my son.

How Do I Begin to Get Over My Child’s Father While He’s Still in the Picture?

Answered by on -

A.

  Thank you for asking this. I applaud your decision to manage your behavior in the service of becoming a mom — good thinking. The next thing is to get some legal advice from the local woman’s center. The life-long financial responsibility and other concerns needs to be squarely placed in front of the baby’s father. His opinions, behaviors, and lifestyle need to be secondary concerns to his primary responsibility. The woman’s center can help you with counseling and legal advice. Take care of that first, then worry about if he should be in your life in any other way.

– Dr. Dan

How Do I Begin to Get Over My Child’s Father While He’s Still in the Picture?

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). How Do I Begin to Get Over My Child’s Father While He’s Still in the Picture?. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/06/01/how-do-i-begin-to-get-over-my-childs-father-while-hes-still-in-the-picture/
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 28 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 28 May 2018
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.