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How Do I Get Help When My Parents Don’t Approve?

Freom the U.S.: I’m 18 and currently desperately in need of getting help but I feel like I have no where to go. It would be best for me to see a therapist, however, I’m currently living with my parents and they “don’t believe in that sort of thing”; I have tried going to see a therapist before but they just bullied me into not seeing one. Not only that, but I’m also out of a job and can’t afford to talk to someone without them knowing. I am a complete loss at what to do.

How Do I Get Help When My Parents Don’t Approve?

A.

Thank you for writing. I just googled “low cost counseling in [your city]” and found several therapists with sliding fee scales. That’s a place to start.

One of your challenges is that you allow yourself to be “bullied” by your parents. It doesn’t matter that your parents don’t believe in therapy. That’s just their opinion. At 18, you are at an age where you can politely disagree but make up your own mind. There is no need to fight about it. You don’t need to convince them that you are right. You don’t need to be angry that their opinion is different from your own. You are each entitled to your beliefs.

Of course, you can’t expect your parents to pay for something they don’t support. You do need to deal with your employment situation as the next step toward becoming independent.

Finding a job is your job for now. That means spending at least 20 hours a week actively involved in the job search. Go on line to find helpful information about how to engage in a successful job search. Do consider doing some volunteer work or an internship to give yourself some experience and to make yourself more attractive to prospective employers.

Until you find regular employment, get creative to earn some cash. Think about services you can offer that neighbors and relatives would be happy to pay for (Computer help? Baby sitting? House cleaning? Yard work?). Lots of people need a little help now and then but not so much that they want to hire someone full time to do it. Defining yourself as self-employed instead of unemployed will do wonders for your self-esteem — and will give you another item to put on your resume.

In the meantime, please consider joining one of the forums here at PsychCentral. Members provide each other with valuable support and information.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

How Do I Get Help When My Parents Don’t Approve?

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). How Do I Get Help When My Parents Don’t Approve?. Psych Central. Retrieved on October 22, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/05/28/how-do-i-get-help-when-my-parents-dont-approve/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 25 May 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 May 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.