This is best summed up by an old adage, “you need to know who your friends are.” In addition, it has often been said that over the course of an entire lifetime, if you have acquired just a small handful of true friends, you will have been blessed in life. Obviously from what you have written, you have been a friend to these people, but they have not reciprocated. You have given your time and energy but they have not reciprocated. You were there for them but they were not there for you. And thus, we come back to those old words of wisdom, “you need to know who your friends are.”
Clearly these people are not your friends. They gladly took from you but never had the intention of giving back to you. They took your time and energy and concern and I am sure would gladly have taken your money also, but they never intended to return anything to you. You were their friend. They were not your friend.
Perhaps it’s hard to accept the fact that you were taken advantage of and misjudged those who would befriend you. I am also sure that you gave to these people under the illusion of friendship. They appeared to be your friend but in actuality were not. Not everyone who is friendly and seemingly concerned, is a friend.
You do not have enough time, money and resources to give to every “friendly” person you encounter. You must learn to sort out the pseudo-friends and pseudo-concerned from the real friends and those who are really concerned.
You have likely also heard it said “you can pick your friends but you can’t pick your family.” You may be closer to a friend than to a family member. A friend may be more concerned with your well-being than a family member. A friend might loan you money after all of your family members have turned you down.
You have learned important life lessons. Not everyone who appears to be a friend, is. People can take without giving. Some people care about you and some people don’t. People can be deceptive.
“Love is more easily spoken than demonstrated.”
Good luck and please write again if I may be of assistance.
Dr. Kristina Randle