I’m a 18-year-old woman, and when I was 13 years old, I killed my family’s pit-bull puppy. His name was Poppy. I killed him by tying a rope to his collar and than putting in over a large branch on a tree which had a hunting post on it. I got up onto the hunting post, grabbed a hold of the rope, and then began pulling the rope down. As I pulled the rope down, Poppy was lifted up in the air. My hands were shaking while i did the deed; and I watched as his body shacked ferociously until, finally, I heard his neck snap. I then got down from the hunting post, untied the rope from his collar, put his leash on his collar, and grabbed a hold of the leash while dragging him through the woods. I put his body underneath some bushes. I left the body there for about a month and then went back to the site, and all that was left was bones (it was summer). I kept going back to the spot almost everyday, and then I took his canine teeth from his skull and put them in my room. Not too long after I did this, I took his head and put it on a tree branch. I then brought my sister into the wood, showed her the head, and told her it was a coyote’s head; I constantly fantasize about killing and torturing animals and sometimes animals. What is wrong with me?
There is no “diagnosis” that fully encompasses the behavior and emotions that you have described. Answering the “why” question is not always possible, especially when I know virtually nothing about you and your personal life.
It is unusual to kill and torture animals. It’s worrisome. That puppy did not deserve the treatment that it endured. Animals are helpless creatures that rely on the kindness of humans.
The FBI has recently reclassified animal abuse as a felony (used to be a misdemeanor), in part because of the recognition that people who hurt animals are at risk of hurting people. Some communities have begun to create registries, much like sex offender registries, of convicted animal abusers. Harming animals is a serious matter.
To avoid jail time, and the prospective of being publicly shamed, it is important to do what is necessary to never harm or kill another animal. I would recommend counseling. It would allow you to explore what motivated your behavior and most importantly, to ensure that you never hurt another animal or a person. The fact that you “constantly fantasize about killing and torturing animals and sometimes animals [I think you meant to write people]” underscores the need for mental health treatment. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle
I Have Mental Issues
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW
Kristina Randle, Ph.D., LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and Assistant Professor of Social Work and Forensics with extensive experience in the field of mental health. She works in private practice with adults, adolescents and families. Kristina has worked in a large array of settings including community mental health, college counseling and university research centers.
APA Reference Randle, K. (2018). I Have Mental Issues. Psych Central.
Retrieved on May 25, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/05/21/i-have-mental-issues/
Last updated: 16 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 16 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.