Thank you for writing. You made a good start by contacting us here. At 21, it is indeed time for you to figure out how to become more independent. Your parents are not “making” you feel depressed. No one can make anyone else feel the way they do. We all make choices about how we will react to hurtful behavior. It’s your decision whether to take in negativity. You can work on developing a more positive mindset about yourself instead — but you may need some help to do so.
Please look into whether there are any free services available in your city. Often, for example, churches and social service agencies do have counselors who provide free or low-cost services.
Meanwhile, consider joining one of the forums here at PsychCentral. People from all over the world provide support and practical ideas for each other. It’s often helpful to be in touch with people who are struggling with the same issues.
For some immediate relief, also search on the Internet for lessons in mindfulness relaxation. Meditation of some kind will help you start to lower your anxiety.
I do think it’s time for you to find a job. If you wait until you feel like doing it, the chances are you won’t. But if you make a positive move forward by doing some volunteer work or taking a part-time job of any kind, you will start to rebuild your self-esteem. That will also help you manage your anxiety.
I wish you well.