Life is indeed sometimes so unfair. Of course you have anxiety. You have had terrible experiences of being out of control and left on your own to deal with them.
I’m sorry your father didn’t know how to help you. But you are an adult now. You can do for yourself what he failed to do. You can’t be expected to sort out your feelings and questions without help.
I can’t tell you how to “fix it” in a letter. But a counselor can. Please find out how to connect with a qualified counselor with experience in abuse and medical trauma. Your physician or hospital should be able to give you a list of resources. You need and deserve the ongoing support and practical help a counselor can provide.
In the meantime, please consider joining one of the forums here at PsychCentral. Members will help you know for sure that you are not alone. People with similar issues provide each other with both support and suggestions.
I wish you well.