I wish I could let you see your email through my eyes. I see an obviously intelligent young woman caught in a struggle between doing something she’d rather not — and somehow finding some relief. That struggle along with the mix of satisfaction and fear would be difficult to manage for anyone. I am proud of you for taking this first step.
Your insight and awareness into your condition is important because it is the key to helping yourself. You know the history of your family and you know cutting is not healthy and yet you are at a loss for asking for help. This is something that you’ve moved forward by writing to us here — and now must move forward again by seeking therapy.
I’d begin by talking to your guidance counselor at school. He or she is well trained on these matters and can help. Trying to sort this though on your own isn’t the way to go. Asking for some help is.
Wishing you patience and peace,
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral