Online tests are interesting, but they are rarely reliable or valid. They would never be used by a professional. You should consult a specialist for an evaluation. You would want to choose a professional with the proper credentials and expertise to diagnose autism spectrum disorders. These may include psychologists, LCSW’s or psychiatrists. You might ask your primary care physician or perhaps even your wife for a referral.
It’s also important to remember that mental health professionals vary in their opinions. If you were evaluated by multiple professionals, they may have multiple diagnoses. Psychiatric diagnosis is not an exact science.
Other considerations involve what is motivating you to seek a formal diagnosis. Sometimes, it increases personal self-awareness or directs treatment. It might also assist in your ascertaining employment accommodations and associated supports at work or in the community. Whether or not you seek a formal diagnosis is a personal choice.
I commend your desire to avoid self-diagnosis. It is wise to seek the expertise of a professional. Hopefully this answer helps you know how to proceed. Good luck with your efforts.
Dr. Kristina Randle