I’ve recently had my first child and me and my baby’s father have had quite the roller coaster of a relationship. We’re currently spending time apart but he is constantly trying to get me and our son to spend time with him and his daughter ( from past relationship) I’m having a hard time with this and feeling myself resent his daughter. I feel horrible for it but really feeling like he’s being there for her so much more for me and our 5 month old. He gives money to her mother (court ordered) buys her everything she needs while the mother party’s. And I feel like I have to beg and complain to get his support it finally came down to me adding up what I lent him in the past and basically just ask for him to pay me back. I feel like my feelings are so unclear about me and him and I also feel like I don’t want anything to do with his daughter. And it honestly tears me up inside that I feel like this. I’m also currently dealing with the possibility of being pregnant with his second child witch I honestly don’t think I can have since I had a c-section and I’m scared I won’t be strong enough mentally to go through another pregnancy since this last experience was so tough. Doing a lot of this on my own with only family support and little support from the father but stuck with past feelings for him even though he’s cheated. broken so much of my stuff called me down numerous amounts of times sent me pictures of other women and always just acts like nothing is wrong. I’m stuck living with family and feeling bad I’m not making and effort for my son to spend time with his sister while she is with her father. But at the same time feel myself be very resentful towards his daughter. I’m also stuck worrying about our living situation my son is growing so fast and yet I’m still with my parents with nowhere for him to have his own room and be in a very kid friendly environment. I would have l looked for s place sooner but I was under the impression we were going to live with the father. But his house is filled with broken glass and no heat. Tired of cleaning up after him. (From Canada)
This difficult situation needs attention at a few levels. I am very glad you wrote us here to start the process. There are legal and psychological issues, as well as safety issues for you, your baby, and your unborn child. Here is a guide to services that can help as well as a woman’s center that can guide you.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). New Mom. Psych Central.
Retrieved on July 19, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/04/28/new-mom/
Last updated: 25 Apr 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 25 Apr 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.