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Sister Is Extremely Irrational and I’m Worried for the State of My Family’s Well-Being

I don’t know how to deal with my sister anymore. She’s completely irrational and I’m worried that she might have some underlying mental problems. Whenever she has a problem she completely disregards any rational/reasonable help. If you cannot help her and release her of her problem immediately she will be extremely rude/vile to you. I have tried every approach. At the beginning I was angry, I yelled and yelled. When I realized that that wasn’t working I adopted a calmer approach. I do not yell anymore, but I do have to admit, I am extremely impatient. Every move I make is met with some sort of rude remark, even things as simple as standing behind her to read what she’s writing on the homework assignment that she asked me to help her with. I respond by asking her why she’s talking to me the way that she is, she responds with Ugh I don’t care just be quiet, if you’re not going to help me then leave. I don’t think that she understands how the way she talks to people effects their ability to help her in stressful situations. She doesn’t realize that I’m trying to help her, and that she is actually making it difficult. She also does not learn from her experiences. She has been yelled at, been talked calmly to, and has even been hit on multiple occasions. I don’t think that she realizes that what she does is wrong, because she does the exact same things that she is punished/scrutinized for over and over again. It’s an endless cycle. My mother is a wits end, I see a lot of her in my sister. When confronted with problems relating to my sister she says things like ‘Ugh I don’t want to hear it anymore’ & ‘I’m just trying to relax, leave me alone’. I just want to know how to go about dealing with her as I’m talking to her. I’m so close to just slapping her across the face. I want to know if the source of her problems is just some sort of mental disorder, her calling for attention, or her being bullied at school (because she is subjected to bullying at school).

A:  This issue is bigger than what you can manage on your own. Since she’s been bullied, the school can (and should) be involved. This may be part of the problem. Talk to you guidance counselor at school about what is going on with your sister. They can help you (and her) deal with this

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Sister Is Extremely Irrational and I’m Worried for the State of My Family’s Well-Being

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Sister Is Extremely Irrational and I’m Worried for the State of My Family’s Well-Being. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 24, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/04/26/sister-is-extremely-irrational-and-im-worried-for-the-state-of-my-familys-well-being/


Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 25 Apr 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 25 Apr 2018
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