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Sexual Play, Is It Normal?

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I’m 16 and I am going through extreme guilt and regret over 3 incidents. Once when I was 9 years and was going through little inspection of my cousin sister’s (6 years) private part while playing doctor. Rest 2 when I was 10 or 11 years old. I went to my grandma’s home where my cousin sister who was 6 or 7 years came we were playing a game in which I was mother and she was the child. When it was the time to feed the baby we thought we would act like breast feeding (and at that time we had no boobs at all). In one chance I was the mother and in another she. After few months when we met again she told to play that game again but I refused . I worry if she would tell her mom and put entire blame on me(as I was the older one) and then they would call the police and I would be called an abuser.

Another when my brother was 5 years . We were wearing our pants only . He touched my boobs and we laid on each other and probably also that breastfeeding if I’m not confusing the above incident with this one . And the worst feeling is that I had initiated it. It happened 2 or 3 times. I feel really sick thinking about this was I an abuser.

I have told these incidents to my mom and she says it’s alright after all you were just a small child. I have read much about child behaviour they all say that such behaviour is normal developmental phase .It’s OK to feel a little awkward about it later in life.I always grew between younger children and had no one to play with of my age. My mother until then had never told me about sex or privacy. Nor did I have any exposure to adult content until then. Can you help me with this I’m overwhelmed with feeling of regret and feel very depressed. I wonder how they feel do they feel they were offended . I had no idea a out what I was doing then. Is it normal, should I move on? (From India)

Sexual Play, Is It Normal?

Answered by on -


  These experiences and feelings are common, but knowing this often doesn’t help alleviate the anguish over them. I would find a way to do something very deliberate, concrete, and helpful as a way of making an amends. NOT to the person(s) involved, but for strangers, or a program. Perhaps volunteering at your school to help children learn to read, or read to them. Anything you can do to do something kind for children as a deliberate way of making amends should help.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Sexual Play, Is It Normal?

Therapists live, online right now, from BetterHelp:

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Sexual Play, Is It Normal?. Psych Central. Retrieved on December 1, 2020, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 14 Apr 2018 (Originally: 17 Apr 2018)
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 14 Apr 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.