I’ve known my boyfriend for a couple years and we just started dating. My mom claims that ever since I’ve been with him I’ve been depressed when I’m actually really happy. It all got to the point where she swears I’m never home and doesn’t like when I get invited to my boyfriend’s family activities. She isn’t happy for me or will accept the fact. She won’t let him over past 10 on the weekdays but will allow my friends over past that time. He refuses to come to my house because of how my mom acts towards him. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m going to move out because of how controlling she is but I don’t know how to tell her. I know she’s going to freak out on me and not let me have anything that I own. I’m stuck between my family and my boyfriend and at this point I choose him over them because I see my whole future with him. I’m so unsure on what is right.
It is time for you to move out. Although you mom is doing what she thinks is best for you she is missing the biggest point, which is that you are happy, and she can’t find a way to be happy for you.
Get everything in place for your move. Know where you would go, when, and how the mechanics of it would happen. Have details and a real option ready. Then have a chat, just you and your mom, about how difficult it is for you to have to deal with what is happening and that you need to make a change. Explain that you are planning to move unless you and she can find a way to make it better. If she can respond with any openness then it is worth trying to have a talk or meet with a family therapist. If she can’t work with you, then you have your answer.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). My Mom Doesn’t Like Me Dating My Boyfriend. Psych Central.
Retrieved on September 17, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/04/16/my-mom-doesnt-like-me-dating-my-boyfriend/
Last updated: 13 Apr 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 13 Apr 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.