I’ve known my boyfriend for a couple years and we just started dating. My mom claims that ever since I’ve been with him I’ve been depressed when I’m actually really happy. It all got to the point where she swears I’m never home and doesn’t like when I get invited to my boyfriend’s family activities. She isn’t happy for me or will accept the fact. She won’t let him over past 10 on the weekdays but will allow my friends over past that time. He refuses to come to my house because of how my mom acts towards him. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m going to move out because of how controlling she is but I don’t know how to tell her. I know she’s going to freak out on me and not let me have anything that I own. I’m stuck between my family and my boyfriend and at this point I choose him over them because I see my whole future with him. I’m so unsure on what is right.

A:  It is time for you to move out. Although you mom is doing what she thinks is best for you she is missing the biggest point, which is that you are happy, and she can’t find a way to be happy for you.

Get everything in place for your move. Know where you would go, when, and how the mechanics of it would happen. Have details and a real option ready. Then have a chat, just you and your mom, about how difficult it is for you to have to deal with what is happening and that you need to make a change. Explain that you are planning to move unless you and she can find a way to make it better. If she can respond with any openness then it is worth trying to have a talk or meet with a family therapist. If she can’t work with you, then you have your answer.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral