I am 45 and a very experienced therapy-goer. Despite difficulties early in life I am doing reasonably well.
At this point but I continue therapy for other improvements. I understand completely that a sexual or romantic relationship is verboten in a therapeutic relationship. I know very well what transference is as I am no newbie.
I have had romantic feelings for therapists in the past and never acted on anything. One of my past therapists had no idea until I told him. I’m pretty discreet and not impulsive one bit.
However with my latest therapist of almost two years, I feel what might be a mutual spark. I could be flattering myself it may be one sided. I have a vague sense that it is mutual but no one has crossed a blatant line. What are the ‘little things’ that are signs of trouble? Pre-violations if you will. What are the innocent beginnings that lead to the slippery slope?
He has been a great therapist and even if the feelings are mutual I really don’t think he will act on it. He seems ethical to me if not possibly having struggles of his own in his own life. I had such a hard time finding a good fit of a therapist I don’t want to give him up.
Talking about it has worked with therapists in the past because I was pretty sure this was all in my transference. This may be case where I am sensing something real.
Talking about it feels dangerous this time. Are there signs I am missing that will show me it is either all in my head or we are heading for trouble?