I’m so glad you wrote. But here’s the thing. You’ve had symptoms half your life. I’m truly, truly sorry that the two people from whom you tried to get help failed. But the failure of 2 people in 11 years does not mean that there isn’t help out there. Please take care of yourself and try again — and again.
One intake worker I know regularly told callers that finding a therapist is like finding a new pair of jeans. You might try on a dozen pair but only one fits in such a fine way that you take it home. Sometimes it takes trying on a dozen pair before you find the right one. But when you do, all the shopping and trying them on was worth it. Finding a good helper really is like that. Sometimes we have to interview several before we find the person who connects, who listens, and who offers the kind of help that resonates.
So please don’t let 2 unhelpful people determine whether you reach out again. Shop around until you find the therapist who gets you. Be honest in your interviews. Tell any new therapist about the failures and why you think they failed. It might be helpful for you to take your letter to us and this response with you on the first meeting to help you introduce the problem.
Please follow up. You deserve to get the help you want and need.
I wish you well.