I am a 17-year-old girl, just turned 17 last month. My school is kindergarten through high school and I am a junior but, in the class, below me there is a 10-year-old boy that I find very attractive. I don’t think I feel sexually attracted to him, but I am worried I may eventually feel that way. I have a history of being touched by older men when I was a child, but I don’t think that could have anything to do with this. I have had a few crushes on boys a few years younger than me in the past and I’ve just always liked boys that are cute and younger looking but the age gap is bigger than ever before, and I am genuinely concerned it may get worse. please give me some sort of guidance. (From the USA)
Being touched by older men when you were a child is something that is likely to have generated a reaction. It sounds like that was the beginning of an older-younger encounter, and the fact you are feeling these attractions may have a link back to that. While I honor your statement that you don’t think it does, I would also say it is worth exploring. The fact that you are noticing this reaction, not feeling comfortable with it, and wrote us here about it is worth taking to the next level to talk about with a therapist. Sorting this through with someone who can help unravel this with you is the right way to go. The “Find Help” tab at the top of the page can help you find someone in your area.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Am Worried about My Sexuality. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/03/23/i-am-worried-about-my-sexuality/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 23 Mar 2018) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.