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I Worry When Someone Asks Where I Live

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From a young woman in Indonesia: I feel bad for my social life. I mostly spend my time on internet and do chat sometimes. And I have no problem when chatting with people online. But when they start to ask where I came from, I couldn’t tell them. I feel scared, like if they knew who I am, I feel like i will be in trouble. Even if they just asking from what country i was. I feel people will know it and hate me. I’m not a confident person in real life thats why I enjoy chatting online. And I always like just to be an anonymous. But why i feel that way when they just asking where i live. In the past life i experience bulying, is that affects my behavior?

I Worry When Someone Asks Where I Live

Answered by on -


Your anxiety about sharing what country you are living in is the way you are telling yourself you are more troubled than you want to admit. The history of being bullied has apparently made you unwilling to risk being social with anyone except those online. Being online helps you stay in control of every encounter. People you would meet in person can’t be “shut down” if things get uncomfortable. That is a kind of solution to the bullying but it does leave you alone and isolated.

I think you already know that you need help to rejoin the social world. I don’t know what resources are available in your country. I hope you will explore whether there are counselors who can help you develop the self-confidence and skills to manage meeting people so you can find friendship and love.

I wish you well.
Dr. Marie

I Worry When Someone Asks Where I Live

Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker

Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter.

APA Reference
Hartwell-Walker, D. (2018). I Worry When Someone Asks Where I Live. Psych Central. Retrieved on March 21, 2019, from
Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 8 May 2018
Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018
Published on Psych All rights reserved.