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Sexual Fantasy of Wife Having Sex with Others

I am married for 15 years, I always have a fantasy that my wife seduces or have sex with other men (I don’t intend to make it real, even in imagination I put a scenario that either we are forced to do so or we are under drugs or wine and always with someone who won’t expose the issue, in other way I want it happened but against my will or I am forced to do so as to avoid sense of guilt), although me & my wife are conservative, & have a happy sexual life ,even I started to feel horny when a doctor examine my wife,I want to know what is psychological reason for such fantasy? is it related to childhood ( I had such thoughts for my mom for a period in my my late childhood at age 10-14, also I used to spy on my mom when changing her cloth at that time ) or is it related that I never had a sexual relationship with anyone but my wife. (From Saudi Arabia)

A:  This is a very common fantasy for men and is known as “cuckold sex” deriving its term from the from the cuckoo bird, because of its habit of laying its eggs in other birds’ nests. The complete history and research behind this can be found her in a terrific blog by Dr. Leon F. Seltzer. The nuances and possibilities for the psychological reasons for this range from masochism to sadomasochism, but these terms do not give the rich explanations behind it. Rather than reiterate them here I invite you to read Dr. Seltzer’s article.

What you should know is that the fantasy is so common that a number of experts have identified it as now in the category of “normal.” This refers to the fantasy itself — not acting on it.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

Sexual Fantasy of Wife Having Sex with Others

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). Sexual Fantasy of Wife Having Sex with Others. Psych Central. Retrieved on June 18, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/03/04/sexual-fantasy-of-wife-having-sex-with-others/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 28 Feb 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 28 Feb 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.