Sometimes when people ask a question, they already know the answer. Please listen to your wise inner self. You know this isn’t usual. You are troubled by it. You already know that you’ll need an objective, nonjudgmental counselor to help you figure it out. Those are enough reasons to talk to a professional who can help you sort out whether this is a problem that needs to be addressed or an unusual and creative way you solve problems. A trained mental health counselor will know the kinds of questions to ask to make sense of the situation. Please take care of yourself and make an appointment with a counselor.
I wish you well.