Over the past two years, my mom has been seeing a local LCSW for therapy. Repeatedly, Mom has told me about telling her therapist about my life and her therapist giving her recommendations about me. Her therapist is revisiting a one sided story and giving one sided advice that is causing me serious stress, as my mom now feels she’s an expert on her adult daighter’s life, but doesn’t seem to be talking about herself in therapy. I’m not sure what steps are appropriate to take in this regard. Can I take a no contact order, which includes third party informants, out on a therapist? I personally don’t have anything to hide from this therapist, I just want to make it abundantly clear that she should be redirecting my mom’s therapy session back to my mom instead of talking about me. If I wanted her to know about me, I would see her myself.
I can’t give you legal advice about a no-contact order, but I think there are a number of complications with going that route — not the least of which is the fact that there has been no contact with you directly and what your mom says the therapist is saying may not be accurate or even happening. Also, your mother talking about you is her choice — and that is what is important to her. As one-sided as it is, it is your mom’s therapy. All that being said, I would deal with matter more directly.
The most direct way is to ask your mom to be invited into a single session. Explain to the therapist what is happening — and that it is not welcome — and that it is actually reinforcing a one-sided perspective that isn’t healthy for you.
You don’t need to use a lot of force with this. Just taking the time to ask your mom to be invited in can have a profound effect.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Mother Receiving Improper Therapeutic Care. Psych Central.
Retrieved on June 18, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/02/23/mother-receiving-improper-therapeutic-care/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.