I’m very sorry that you are suffering. I know that it was difficult to write your letter, but you did it and you should be proud. It was the right thing to do. It is evidence of your desire to be happy. I see it as a very positive sign.
I have worked with many people who have had similar struggles. They were able to overcome these problems and live a good life. With the right help, I would expect no less for you.
Yes, you should seek help. Realistically, it may be a challenge at first because of your paranoia, but you should do it anyway. If you can push through the paranoia and meet with a mental health professional, you are on your way.
Treatment works but one has to be open to receiving it and willing to participate in it. The fact that you wrote this letter would suggest that you are open and willing. I see this as yet another encouraging sign. It signifies that you want help. People who are motivated have the best chance of achieving success.
The problem with mental health treatment is not that it is ineffective; it’s that many people, for variety of reasons, don’t seek it out. The end result is that many people, perhaps even millions of people, suffer from treatable conditions. Every symptom you have described is highly treatable with both counseling and or medication. Avoid being one of those people suffering needlessly with treatable conditions. Take advantage of the many evidence-based treatments that are available to you. It would be destructive not to do so.
The next step is to contact your local primary care physician or insurance company and ask for a referral for a mental health professional. Once you begin treatment, you will be on your way to a more joyful life. Please write again if you have additional questions. I wish you the best of luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle