From the U.S.: The man I’ve been seeing (32) has been into rough sex for so long and told me his exs weren’t into it. I was open to it and so we had pretty rough sex often. Never dangerous. I told him I loved him one day and he got terrified and said because the sex got too rough it hurt him because it was too much for him to process so he had to numb his feelings for me to keep doing it. Later he said maybe I love you on another level, then a few hours later said I do love you, just not enough. Then kept whispering I love you the entire day which only confused me. He wanted to have sex again that night but it was so different, more emotional and loving.
The next day we parted cause he had to go back home and he was crying so hard and kept kissing my hands and forehead and wanted to just hold me.
I feel betrayed and dehumanized. What is wrong with him? Could rough sex really mess him up this much even though he’s always talked about how rough he wants to be with me? Was he telling the truth or just making up excuses? Could he actually be in love with me like he later said? We’ve been friends for a while and used to talk daily for hours for 7 months, he actually has to travel from to even see me.
He emailed me few weeks after we stopped talking and said he wishes he was more sincere and it hurts to think I’m moving on but he’s happy for me. He kept asking random questions about what I’m up to but I didn’t reply.
I’m confused, does he want me or not? What do I do? I’m still in love with him but I feel like whatever we had is now so ruined.