My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months and he’s starting to tell me white lies and when I tell him I wish to work on them he agrees.
But I feel like it’s in one ear and out the other since we’re in a rough patch currently due to him thinking I’m sacrificing my happiness for him.
Then he told me he feels like I’m controlling and he feels trapped. So far, he told me two white lies that didn’t bother me at the time. Except now I have constant anxiety that he’s always lying to me.
He knows this and swears he’s working on not lying and telling me the truth even if the truth hurts. He says he wants this relationship and he loves me. But if he really loved me, he wouldn’t lie to me, right?
We’re very open and we used to be in total puppy love till I got jealous over his best friend who happens to be an ex. Mutual breakup and they’re still friends and he lied to me about her having his new number.
Then he lied to me about not using Facebook. When I confront him he gets sad, tells me he’s a horrible boyfriend and that he’s sorry.
I just feel like trust is gone and although he wants to fix things and work on things I’m kinda worried this relationship is doomed.
There isn’t much here to bank on for a future stable relationship. He keeps lying, tells you one thing — and does another. The Facebook lie and giving out his number to his ex are bright red flags. If all this is happening within the first 9 months, when things should be fantastic, there isn’t much of a future. It is time to move on.
Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.
APA Reference Tomasulo, D. (2018). Boyfriend Starting to Lie to Me. Psych Central.
Retrieved on November 20, 2019, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/02/10/boyfriend-starting-to-lie-to-me/
Last updated: 8 May 2018 (Originally: 10 Feb 2018) Last reviewed: By a member of our scientific advisory board on 8 May 2018 Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.