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I Think My Mom Hates Me

It began in middle school after we moved and I put on maybe 5 lb. For the next couple months my weight became the butt of everyone’s jokes, I was 11- 5″1″ and barely 100 lbs. The constant teasing made me hate myself and I began cutting. When they found out I was immediately grounded, no phone, no hangouts, school only. I began getting sick the next year (anemia) my mom refused to take me to the doctor for a whole year and told me that if I ate steak then it wouldn’t even be a problem. My doctors said that I needed a blood transfusion, my mom refused so instead I had to quit sports, fail my classes, and I was so weak I couldn’t walk up the stairs without help. When I realized I was failing I begged her for a tutor and she refused until it was too late. I’m really self conscious about my scars (I have a rare skin disease too) and she forced me to wear a bathing suit and I started crying and she told me I need to learn to get over it because she had it worse. (From Japan)

A: Your mother isn’t giving you adequate treatment and is making medical decisions about your well-being that have hurt you. It is time to take matters into you own hands and stop relying on your mother to make ill-informed, humiliating, and harmful choices about your care.

It is time to get someone else involved. If you have an older sibling, or an aunt or uncle, or a teacher at school talk to them about the need for medical and psychological help. You may also want to talk to the physician that diagnosed your anemia and get him or her to help. The important thing is to take care of yourself and stop letting your mom make decisions that affect your psychological and physical health. It looks like you are near the end of high school and I would strongly recommend making plans to get out and away from your mother. Whether she is acting out of ignorance or malice she has made a series of decision that are hurtful and unhealthy for you.

Wishing you patience and peace,
Dr. Dan
Proof Positive Blog @ PsychCentral

I Think My Mom Hates Me

Daniel J. Tomasulo, PhD, TEP, MFA, MAPP

Dan Tomasulo Ph.D., TEP, MFA, MAPP teaches Positive Psychology in the graduate program of Counseling and Clinical Psychology at Columbia University, Teachers College and works with Martin Seligman, the Father of Positive Psychology in the Masters of Applied Positive Psychology (MAPP) program at the University of Pennsylvania. He is Director of the New York Certification in Positive Psychology for the Open Center in New York City and on faculty at New Jersey City University. Sharecare has honored him as one of the top 10 online influencers on the topic of depression. For more information go to: http://www.dare2behappy.com/. He also writes for Psych Central's Ask the Therapist column and the Proof Positive blog.

APA Reference
Tomasulo, D. (2018). I Think My Mom Hates Me. Psych Central. Retrieved on May 26, 2018, from https://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2018/02/04/i-think-my-mom-hates-me/

 

Scientifically Reviewed
Last updated: 2 Feb 2018
Last reviewed: By John M. Grohol, Psy.D. on 2 Feb 2018
Published on PsychCentral.com. All rights reserved.