I have been having sexual relations with a stripper at a strip club for nearly a year. My therapist believes I may have developed a type of sex addiction. My therapist recently had to go out of town so I have not seen her in nearly a month, but I told her I was going to try and stop seeing the stripper. I have not gone to the strip club in over a month, but I’m still constantly thinking about the stripper, and I’m always turned on. It’s distracting and it makes it hard for me to focus on school or work. I was also seeing a psychiatrist for a mood disorder, and I was on an anti-psych medication that I stopped taking about a year ago. When I first started seeing the psychiatrist I told him I had began having powerful sexual urges that began a year before I started seeing him, but I never acted on them. I was also a huge germ-a-phobe. Why am I still thinking about the stripper and constantly turned on when I haven’t seen her in over a month and is this related to my mood disorder?
A. Sex is a powerful drive. Freud is often subjected to ridicule, in our modern times. Much of what he had to say about sex is not now politically popular, but it does not mean that he was factually wrong. I won’t attempt to reiterate Freudian theory in this response, but in its most simplest, sex is a very powerful drive, in fact the most powerful of drives.
Some modern research concludes that human beings have sexual thoughts throughout every waking hour of every day. Your having sexual thoughts is not abnormal. Your having a sexual drive is also not abnormal. Normal human beings are motivated sexually.
You had sexual relations with a stripper for nearly a year. What has replaced that sexual outlet? Without a new, equal or better, sexual outlet it would be normal to continue to fantasize about your last or more exciting sexual outlet.
Do you have a sexual addiction? I cannot answer that question. Is your sex life harmful to you in any way? Again, I cannot answer the question. A good sex therapist could answer all of your questions. A good friend could not. It would be highly advisable to find your answers in the work you do with a sex therapist. Certainly, he or she could answer all of your questions and help you work through a problem, if one actually exists.
I can only provide information that is general and applies to all human beings in some form and to some degree but personal problems, specific problems to an individual, must be dealt with by in-person involvement with a competent therapist. Good luck.
Dr. Kristina Randle