It’s note-worthy that you direct all your “tics” at yourself. It suggests that your frustration with yourself is huge. In a way, you’ve taken over the bullying that others used to do to you.
I don’t understand why you think a diagnosis would tarnish your “record”. Your medical record is confidential. I suspect that a diagnosis or at least an understanding of what is happening would give you enormous relief.
I can’t offer a diagnosis on the basis of a letter. But I can suggest that intense bullying and the trauma of the death of a younger brother may have triggered feelings and thoughts that you have yet to deal with effectively. Your “tics” may be a way that you are telling yourself that you really do need some treatment in order to have a productive and happy life.
I do hope you will take care of yourself and get the help you deserve.
I wish you well.