People generally lie in order to make themselves look a desired way to certain people. Your willingness to lie suggests that you wanted to control the way certain people thought of you. It must mean that you care about what they think of you.
More specifically, perhaps you thought that lying to your new friend was a good way to connect with her. Maybe you thought that if the two of you had engaged in similar activities and had similar interests, then she might like you more. You might have also thought that partying and having sex is something that makes you look cool to her. For many young people, they think that’s what cool people do. Only you know why you did it and without being able to interview you in-depth, I can only guess.
Generally, you probably lied in order to gain favor with your friend. You may have continued to lie because you wanted to be consistent or you thought it might make you look cool.
In any event, once you become aware of a behavioral problem you can change it. For most people, lying is not an involuntary activity. You can control whether you do it or not.
I would also recommend befriending different people who aren’t into sex, drugs and partying. These types of people and activities are dangerous and will likely lead to trouble. If this continues to be an issue, consider counseling to address why you lie, how to stop it and also to examine why you want to be around people who are into troubling behavior. Thank you for your question. Please take care.
Dr. Kristina Randle