Thank you for writing. You are not bothering me. Your problem isn’t trivial. You have written an articulate letter in which you’ve done your best to both present your problem and be sympathetic to your parents’ beliefs. Many, maybe even most, people do need some help following a traumatic death. That situation plus the fact that there is a family history of depression are enough of a reason for you to see a professional.
I think the place to start is with your medical doctor. I don’t know if there is a medical component to this or not. If there is, treatment can be offered. Of equal importance, though, is that physicians can often do what a teen can’t. Your doctor can tell your parents that you need an evaluation for depression. She or he can also suggest some changes in life style that would benefit you at this stage of your life.
If you parents are not open to having you see a doctor, think about other adults you trust and they respect who might be able to help you have a calm and clear discussion with them. Is there a relative who can give you support? How about a church elder?
At 17, you should be getting ready to leave home. Your isolation is part of your problem. You need more social contacts in order to become more socially secure. If your parents are committed to home schooling, find other ways to get out with people your own age. Join something. Participate in a sport. Volunteer where other teens are doing good work. Maybe find a part time job that will both get you out into the community and let you save some money toward future schooling or a place of your own.
You have made an important start to your adult life by taking care of yourself by reaching out for some help here at PsychCentral. Please find the courage and strength to take the next steps.
I wish you well.